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The Dirty Mama's Dirty Laundry
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Date:2008-12-18 18:11
Subject:when I get sleepy, my mood deteriorates. (part II)
Security:Public
Mood: a calm(er) Chester Weise

...and now I am home. You might wonder why I was updating this thing at work, after a 27 week long hiatus. (I didn't know that off the top of my head - LiveJournal told me so.)

Work is very slow. The real estate market is dwindling. For the past few months, on most days, I sit at work with literally nothing to do. And that really, really scares me. I am one of only three employees that HomeSight has at this point in time, and though I've got tenure for being there about 2.5 years now, there is no reason for any of the three of us to be there full-time right now. Tom (boss Tom) has already stated that, as of the first of the year, we are going to hourly pay instead of salaried pay - which is good for Dawn and Vanessa, who do miss work often (Vanessa is full-time, and Dawn is part-time), but this is not good for me. As soon as Tom mentioned this to us, however, he told me specifically: "Don't worry, Joanne, you will get your 40 hours a week. Nothing will change for you." Still, I can't help but worry, because I know how often Tom changes his mind about things. If I'm habitually going to be sent home early and miss those hours of pay every two weeks, I will have a big problem on my hands. Two field people have already been out of work because of the market - one quit, and another was laid off. I cannot afford to make any less than I do now.

This, again, goes to that worry gene of mine and my mom. Can I control this? No. Am I freaking out about something I can't control? Yes. I need to just let whatever will happen happen, then deal with the "bad" if/when it comes.

Usually, I do my worrying every few weeks (or however long between bursts of emotion like this, haha) and I am fine again for a while. Hopefully this is all this is.

Much of my other worries comes, again, from my weight issues. I feel guilty for not having the discipline to keep off what weight I lost the first time I did WW. I feel guilty, too, that Andrew began dating a much thinner me, and is now stuck with a much bigger me. It just seems unfair to him.

When I'd lost that weight before, my self-esteem was higher, and I did not consciously realize it, until now. I remember climbing the four flights of stairs in Shilling (as about 90% of all English courses at Millikin were on the 4th floor) and not being out of breath by the time I reached the top. By senior year, and after gaining all of the weight I'd lost back and then some, that symptom had returned. Before, I was flirty, and was courageous enough to ask Andrew out, because I felt desirable and flattering in my own skin. I felt like dressing up more, because I felt like I could be "presented" as I was, and felt beautiful as I was. And that is true most days now, too - but during these times, I return to how I felt before WW, and that is not a place that I want to be self-esteem wise.

I guess, most of all, I've been worried about being a fat bride. It just seems... wrong. Now, I realize that I am never, ever going to be skinny - at my lowest weight on WW, I was still "overweight" by their standards, and maybe even slightly obese - but I do not want to be where I am at now. Ultimately, I would love to be at the weight I was when my 'Punks and I took our trip to Italy. It was not my thinnest, but it was still a weight that I was comfortable with and felt I looked good at - that I looked like myself at. (I look back at some of the photos of me taken at my lowest weight, and think I look really goofy - not like myself.)

To do this, I need to be disciplined and stick with the healthier eating and exercise - not just for a little while, but indefinitely. Andrew and I have already talked about our poor eating habits and workout habits, and have determined that we want to do better for our future kids. We *need* to do better. I don't want my future son or daughter feeling alienated because he/she looks different from the other kids, or can't physically do the things the other kids can. Ultimately, I want to get healthy now, so that I can be an example for my kids in the future.

Damn, it's hard though. :) My family did *not* eat well growing up. We ate out probably 5 times a week or more. We never really exercised, either - especially not after grade school.

I want to be a size 14 bride. Yes, 14. As I said, I'll never be skinny, but when I was at that size, I felt beautiful. I still do now, but I felt more like myself as a 14 than I do now at a 16+ (I say + because I keep teetering on the high-end of a size 16).

Recently, I applied for a life insurance policy to name Andrew as the beneficiary. To begin a new policy, the company did a health questionnaire and small history in order to determine what rate I would be charged for life insurance. They mailed me a copy of my blood and urine tests results, and all came back normal for the things they tested for - like glucose levels, cholesterol levels, protein levels, etc. (I was also cocaine- and HIV-free, haha.) I noticed that, though my glucose levels fell in the normal range, they were on the higher end of the "normal" spectrum that they gave - though I'm healthy now, if I continue on, that will probably mean diabetes at some point. (Especially given that mom is diabetic.)

This is a worry that I can actually do something about... and it's time. I just really, really hope that, if I am able to lose said weight to get down to a 14, that I don't jump back up again a few months down the road. At this point, I still feel as though I'm destined to be obese forever, and it's not a fun feeling. I don't like failing at things.

Anyway... like I said, usually I go through these "worry" bouts every so often, and then I'm fine. And I'm fine after writing and crying for a little while. (I got that gene from my mom too - crying over just about anything.)

I love and miss you all. I can't promise I will update more, but I will try. :)

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Date:2008-12-18 15:06
Subject:when I get sleepy, my mood deteriorates.
Security:Public
Mood: a contemplative Chester Weise

I have had an extremely hard time waking up and going to bed this week. It could possibly be due to the changing weather, as this has been the first big wintry-weather week of the season. Snow has been around for a few days already, and tonight they're calling for freezing rain. Icky! It's just so much cozier to stay inside and/or in bed.

My mom and I were talking on the phone a few weeks ago, and somehow she got onto the subject of worrying about things - I think we were talking about her job search, after QU decided to let her go a couple of months ago. My parents tried to come visit the weekend after mom was let go at work, but car troubles got them as far as Springfield on Saturday, then they stayed overnight, and Andrew and I met up with them in Springfield the following day. Mom did not look good at all - she looked pallid and like she was falling ill with something. Later on, she had said that she was just worried sick about not having employment. She was hoping that I did not get her "worry" gene; however, as soon as she said that, I knew exactly what she was talking about in terms of worrying about things obsessively, even if they're 100% out of my control.

I only get in these "worry" modes every so often, however - most of the time, I'm fine to go about life as normal. The other times, however, I'm really down. I'm feeling that way today, probably partially because of the odd/bad sleep that I've had so far this week.

Last night, I was having a bad dream. Anymore, I hardly ever remember my dreams, unless I wake up in the middle of one either by my alarm or from Andrew coming to bed. Last night, when Andrew had come to bed, I woke up after dreaming that we had broken up, and that I had moved back into my parents' house. (Afer that, in the dream, Tom and I were also discussing something, and I went about trimming up a boneless chicken breast with a knife, then switch to Andrew's hobby knife that he uses to open DVDs and the like. That's when Andrew came to bed and I woke up.)

I was like, what the hell?! Why, when I actually remember my dream for once, is it about something bad... and then something really, really random? At least Andrew was right there to hold me and cuddle at the moment I woke up. :) So that was fine.

Anyway. When I get into these "down" times where I worry a lot, I start worrying a lot about my weight. I know, I know... same story that's been going on my whole life. It really disheartens me that I have the discipline within me to finish the undergrad degree, work full-time, work on the grad degree now, have my finances in order (though I'm in debt, I'm paying things off fairly quickly), but I do not have the ability to do the same with my weight. Then I get to thinking about the whole WW thing several years back, and how I was able to lose 45 lbs... then gain 70 right back. It's really disheartening that I don't seem to have the ability to control that aspect of my life the way that I'd like to.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm cheating Andrew, because we started dating right when I stopped going to WW, so I was quite a bit smaller than I am now. Everyone else kinda knows me to be the way I am now, but I was not like this when he first met me.

...Tom's back at work, so I'll continue later. (That's another subject to touch on!)

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Date:2008-06-08 08:42
Subject:feeling old lady-ish. :) in a good way.
Security:Public
Mood: a bouncy Chester Weise



It's about time that LiveJournal had its own embed photos tool. :) Woot.

So, Andrew and I are closing on our new-to-us home this coming Friday the 13th. (Duh duh duh!) http://www.homesight.net/rss/tours/index.php?id=10547 I could not be happier, unless the house was in Quincy, haha. :) (I've been reading my last several entries, all of which mention Quincy in some way, shape, or form... it's no secret that I do not want to stay in D-town forever.)

At any rate, we are very excited to be moving. Boxes are starting to stack up around here, which is a good thing. My parents and brothers are coming next weekend to help us with the big stuff - the couch and love seat, our bed, and big living room TV, which Andrew's dad is letting us keep (which I think he's going to grumble and complain about, despite Andrew's assurance that he willingly gave it to us). Anyway. :) This will be the first time I've moved since coming to the house on Marietta in late May of 2006, and it is long overdue.

Since coming to live at the Marietta house, it's always felt like Andrew's dad's house, not *our* house... and we know that feeling wouldn't change for us, even if we did buy it. Stan and Debbie have done their best pleading and begging over those two years to get us to take over Stan's mortgage payment here permanently, but all that refusing over those years has really paid off. I know they are probably terrified at the thought of having two mortgage payments starting in July... but then again, they probably should have thought about that possibility before purchasing their own house with a $1500 monthly mortgage payment. :) Ah well. I hope they are able to sell this house relatively quickly, but I know that Stan is wanting to list the home for *far* more than the houses in the neighborhood are worth. (I love working where I can find that stuff out, haha.) Well, he bought the place for $61,000 in 2004, and hasn't had to make a mortgage payment himself since Andrew was left there alone in 2005, after Stan married Debbie. (Andrew and I have lived in his dad's house longer than his dad has, which is kinda funny.) I was looking at other houses in the neighborhood and what they're listed at/what they've sold for, and the range is between $50,000-55,000. Andrew's dad is planning to list this house for $66,900. Umm... no. I hope his realtor is smart enough to inform him of this, however... even the houses listed for around $55,000 have been sitting for months. I can't fathom how many people won't even come in the door with the price he's wanting to get for it.

I think what's most upsetting is how fake-nice and fake-supportive Stan and Debbie have sounded about the move, yet when Stan talks to Andrew's sister Stefanie, it's all trash-talking us, talking about how we're making a "huge mistake" (because, God-forbid, he's going to have two mortgage payments starting in July!) and how he's done all this work to make the house better but we still won't take it off his hands. (All reasons why this move is bad for him... none that make the move bad for us.) It's all so selfish and child-like. I feel like saying... look dude, you're a grown man. Maybe you shouldn't have purchased such an expensive house for yourself and Debbie until you sold the house on Marietta. Andrew seems to think such talk is useless, however... and after hearing similar stories of his dad's financial ventures/complaints when Andrew was a kid, I have no sympathy for him. He needs to just sell the house at a loss and get the mortgage gone... for good. (But he's too dumb/stubborn/aloof to realize this.)

Anyway. :) Nothing can get me down. I am very happy and excited to move. The final price that we'll be paying for our new house, 2252 Yorkshire Drive, is $81,500. The sellers are paying up to $2,000 of our closing costs, and we're receiving assist-bond money as well. The mortgage interest rate was just lowered from 6.25% to 6.17% as well. So, with taxes and insurance, our monthly payments are about $683 a month, before we get the homestead exemption (which will lower our yearly taxes). Our current "rent" (Stan's mortgage payment on Marietta) is around $625. So we'll be owning our own place, building our own credit, and finally have *our* home, instead of someone else's... for just a little more than we're used to paying now. :) So happy.

We close Friday at 10am, and we'll be doing our final walkthrough of our new place Thursday at 11:30am. I can't wait. :) So, lots of laundry will be done today, before doing more packing. We'll be calling the various utility companies to get bills switched to our names, and I'll be heading to the Civic Center to get the water bill switched over to my name. It's real now. Haha, my mom keeps saying that she's proud of us, but that it doesn't seem possible that we're old enough to be buying a house. :)

The only thing that potentially worried me about buying a home rather than renting is having to get rid of the house when we're ready to make the final move to Q-town. (Which we've talked about more - that's our goal in the future. I will finish my master's degree first, which will take another 2.5-3 years or so, then we'll go from there... all the while, paying down our respective debts.) Since we've started looking for houses, three in total have gone up for sale on Yorkshire Drive (including ours!) and all three sold within a matter of weeks. That makes me feel really good about our decision, and being able to get it sold in a reasonable amount of time when that time comes; also, the positive feedback from the home inspection assures me that we've got a structurally-sound, well-maintained home.

I've been feeling really old lady-ish lately, but in a very good way. Haha, I went to Kohl's yesterday and got a new cutlery set for the new house, and got very, very excited about it. I called mama to tell her that I must be getting old when buying a set of knives is exciting... and she said that life was just beginning for us. :) I'm so totally happy.

I'm not sure if it's all this house-buying stuffs, or all of these happy couples I'm hearing news of engagements, weddings, and children about, but I've been doing some thinking about *ahem* marriage. Andrew and I have talked about it a lot... haha, during Penny and Matt's wedding a few weeks ago, he kept joking about riding off in the Batmobile instead of a horse-drawn carriage, and how William Shatner will officiate the ceremony, and how he'll take my dad out for a beer when he asks him for permission (before my dad shoves him off a barstool, in Andrew's version, haha) etc. But anyway... until recently, I have had desires to get married, but always with the "someday" attached to that thought. And my feelings have changed... I'm ready. But, in the same token, I don't want Andrew to read this and feel pressured to do anything, because it's a joint decision that should never, ever, ever be rushed. (I feel so silly that I keep having dreams of us getting hitched.) But anyway... I felt that was noteworthy.

On a different note... I think I have a ghetto streak in me. I'm listening to my new iPod, Jarius Oatmeal Hotwing Johnson (which, as Andrew jokes, will be our first son's name), Dr. Dre just came on, and I'm sitting at the computer bumpin' along. Jeez. :) I bought that CD after hanging out with Leanne in high school, as she listened to it so much. It's a good CD. It's funny how music can bring you back to your past... in a good way. Haha, when Andrew and I were driving to Quincy last weekend for Bethie's baby shower, Too Short's "Cocktales" came on my playlist, and I started busting up laughing, because Mike and Beth used to play that a lot, since my name's mentioned in that song. Too funny.

Work is going well too. :) The office is still small, but Tom (boss Tom) has another big plan to hopefully up his cash-flow intake. So we'll see. :) Maybe another raise will follow with that, who knows? Haha. Otherwise, it's good.

I should stop writing novels every few months, and just update this thing once a week. That would probably be easier. :) But once I start typing, I cannot stop. Well... it's probably time to switch the laundry, so I shall go and continue on with the packing. We will have a big party (cookout?) when we're all moved in, so all can see the new place. :)

I love and miss you all.

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Date:2008-04-28 06:17
Subject:we should go on House Hunters.
Security:Public

It's silly that I feel I only have time to update this thing at 6 in the morning, haha. ;) It's fun being an old lady.

My parents came over to D-town yesterday and we looked at two new houses, and also one house that we saw in the first batch of houses for the second time. So now I'm liking two houses: 63 E. Imboden and 47 Ridgedale. Both have their ups and downs, but I'm leaning more towards the one on Imboden.

Ridgedale is nicely finished, however. The upstairs is very pretty and nicely decorated. Also, HomeSight did a virtual tour (oops, I meant "interactive floor plan," as I should be saying, haha) on this one: http://www.homesight.net/rss/tours/index.php?id=9942

The home on Ridgedale also has a mostly finished basement, which sounds nice for extra space. I don't believe it's been waterproofed, however, though there are no signs of water damage down there. Also, the second look at this place also revealed that the finished portion of the basement was, well, a little cosmetically ugly. (Ceiling tiles that didn't match up, and red carpet in the fam room/rec room area... also the den area has the same ceiling as in my parents' kitchen and same green-ish carpet as my Grandma Weise's living room (funny!), among other things.) Oh! Its biggest flaw was the portable dishwasher... that doesn't work. (I didn't know you had to manually hook those things up to the sink every time you wanted to use it, either. Hmm.) I must have a dishwasher in our future house. ;)

The roof is brand new and the heater and a/c are 6 and 7 years old, respectively. No real worries about buying it... but it is at the very top of our price range at $86,500. Still a nice find, but it got me thinking about the place on Imboden more.

The place on Imboden is listed at $79,900, but has been on the market for about 5 months now. (Maybe we could score a better deal?) The roof was recently replaced 3 years ago, and the furnace and a/c are both brand new. Nice to know those major things we will not have to deal with. It's got one full bath (with a shower head tall enough for the two of us... unlike the one we have now, haha) and one half bath. The floor plan is set up differently than most homes of that era, too. It's got four bedrooms... one's really tiny, but that could be a computer room. Also, hardwood floors in all of the bedrooms. The paint is all very neutral, and the carpet in the living room and hallway is also neutral.

It needs a few things, however - none to be dealt with immediately, but if we're saving money on the house, we could do some things now. Many windows are brand new, but the others are not (I would want to replace those upon moving in - maybe not right away, but soon). Also, this one is not sided, but is recently painted. Dad said that would probably last another 3-5 years, but siding is definitely the way to go... maintenance free. Also, the garage's roof will probably need replaced in a few years. The kitchen cabinets are not pretty, but they are in really nice condition - the kitchen is a nice size and all appliances (including an integrated dishwasher) stay. Woot. :)

The basement in that one is not finished, however it has been professionally waterproofed - so we would actually be able to use it for storage, unlike our place now. (I lost a lot of old TEC photos and other memorabilia in our current basement due to water damage... but I can't do anything about that now.)

So! Lots to think about. The home on Imboden is vacant, and Tom (my boss Tom) told me to have him go through a house we're serious about, so he can tell me what it's really worth. I'll tell him about that one this morning at work... and maybe we'll make another trip there sometime this week, haha. ;)

Anyway, I guess I should use this early morning time for *something*... like cleaning. Since we won't be living here too much longer. :) (We have started packing and cleaning the basement... Stan and Debbie have been here a LOT over the past week... which I don't think will change until we're in a new place, haha. Ah well.)

I love and miss you all... and will have a big house party once we find a spot. :)

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Date:2008-04-03 21:39
Subject:Decatur blows.
Security:Public
Mood: relieved

So, a brief entry now... it's been a long week, and I wanted everyone to know this stuff, so I figure I'll type it out once and then take calls as needed, haha. ;)

But anyway...

Andrew and I work opposite schedules. Though we both work Monday-Friday, I work 8:30am-5pm and he works 3pm-12am. We both come back to the house for our respective lunch hours, so that does give us some time to see each other during the week. Otherwise, we see each other on the weekends, since we both have those off now (yay!).

This past Monday, however, Andrew left around 9pm-ish to walk back to work. StarTek is only a couple of blocks away from our house, so him walking back is not an odd occurrence; in fact, he usually walks. (We loved walking around the neighborhood too, as there's a pretty decent walking "path" that we take often - last Saturday we walked over 3 miles.)

Monday night, about 5-10 minutes after Andrew left, there was a knock at the door. Usually I don't go near the door after he leaves, and I usually head to bed fairly soon after he heads back after his lunch hour. However, I did answer the door. It was Andrew, and he had some blood at the corner of his lip. He said that he had just been jumped by a group of teenagers and to call the police.

So, I did, and an officer came to our house. Andrew was attacked by four guys about teenage-age (Andrew guessed anywhere between 13 years old to 18 years old for the lot of 'em). The one that did most of the talking during the fiasco punched him in the back of the head, then proceeded to circle around him, throwing blows at his head, while the others dragged him to the ground, took his wallet out of his pocket, and then the cash from the wallet... which Andrew said was as little as $11 or as much as $30-something, since he can't remember if he had a $20 on him or not. As the assholes left, one thumbed through all of his credit cards and threw them to the ground one by one, along with his wallet, and then he fled too (the others had already gone).

The police officer came and Andrew told him his story, then the officer dusted his credit cards and wallet for prints (as Andrew picked everything up that the one douche had thrown onto the ground - he found everything, luckily). We then went to the hospital to check out his injuries, and his dad and Debbie came along for that.

Tuesday we both stayed home from work. Since he had a head injury, he was told to drink fluids and stay on bedrest, while I woke him up every two hours to make sure nothing had changed mentally for him - no slurred speech, memory loss, confusion, etc. So he was OK.

Wednesday, I came back to work, and he stayed home again. Andrew's entire family has come to see him (in different shifts, since many don't get along with one another) and so has his friend Eric. It's just nice to see he's getting taken care of.

Today he went back to work as well... and took my car back after his lunch hour.

Anyway... I have already done my crying over the whole thing with mom, and seen some sort of hurt in Andrew's eyes that I hadn't seen before. These were goddamned kids that attacked him - and the bastards laughed about it. The worst part was that it happened less than a half a block away from our house. If you stood on our front porch, you can look down the street and see exactly where it happened. It makes you feel really helpless.

This just solidified to me how much I hate Decatur. There's just... a sense of sickness, like a plague, that has already taken over much of the city, and has been creeping into our neighborhood ever since we moved in. Nobody cares to do anything about it, either. Sure, those kids (*kids*... jeez...) will get caught, no doubt, but it's all so senseless. Why were they even out that late on a school night? Don't parents care anymore? It's not OK to do this sort of thing.

I hate Decatur... but you all already knew that. Haha, I was on the phone with mom on Tuesday, and she said that she just wanted to scoop both of us up to Quincy. I'm leaning heavily towards that... someday. I know this sort of thing could happen anywhere, but Jesus Christ, not on a block visible from your own front porch. (Plus, you don't hear about this sort of shit happening ALL THE TIME in other areas... just in the cesspool that is Decatur. There are fucking drive-by shootings here. There's at least one murder in the paper every week. That's horrible. I don't want to live here. I don't want my future family to live here. It's rediculous and disgusting.) Who knows if those kids saw Andrew come back to this house after it all happened? It suffices to say that we're both creeped out.

Every day that passes is getting better, however. I'm just so incredibly happy and relieved that Andrew walked away with a few scrapes and a black eye. Other people just make me sick, however. This town makes me sick.




...I feel better after that rant. Well, I was hoping that I had nothing to report so I could go another few months and just say all is well. Which, all is well - except for the fact that Decatur is a bottomless pit. Period. And they messed with my Andrew. That is just not acceptable.

I love and miss you all.

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Date:2007-12-30 13:18
Subject:a look into the life of Joanne at age 8.
Security:Public

I used to write these little short stories when I was in grade school... funny how writing became my major in college, right? :) Anyway, they were really funny stories and they usually included a boy in the class that I liked. (I was a very crushy person in my youth, haha.) I even illustrated them too, since I liked to draw as well. (If the scanner worked I'd just scan in the pages!)

Now, I'm home visiting my fam and friends, and I came across one of my old short stories from 2nd grade. Here it is... "The Snowman" by me at age 8.

The Snowman
By Joanne Weise
St. Mary's School

Once there was a snowman. His name is Matt. He has a friend named Suzie. One day Matt said: "I really want a wife." Suzie said: "I'll make another snowoman for you tomorrow."

Suzie had lots of dreams that night. She slept late the next morning. She slept until eight o'clock. Suzie forgot all about making the snowman for Matt!

Would he ever have a wife? Probably. Would Suzie ever remember? Matt was sad. He really wanted a wife.

Then Suzie remembered. She ran outside. She made a snowoman and named her Katie.

The End

...and, of course, the About the Author section:

I am an artist an ennjoy drawing + painting. Also, I play basketball two days a week after school. One evening a week I have dance class.

Hahahaha. I just laughed at my former self for a long while. ;) On the back of the book, there's a picture I drew of the two snowpeople holding hands, and it says "just married" above them. How demented is an 8 year old thinking about marriage? Haha.

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Date:2007-12-22 06:42
Subject:Christmas... and some days off!
Security:Public
Mood: a cheerful Chester Weise

Wow, I've been pretty lazy with my journal this year. :) I should probably resolve that for the following year.

Work is going well - Tom let us go around 3pm yesterday, since we were dead in the office and weren't expecting anymore work to come in. That was especially nice. :) Before that, he passed out cards with bonus moneys. WOW. I got me a nice $500 bonus before Christmas... yessir! So that was pretty exciting, haha. I feel a little bad for not giving Tom at least a card... but now that I've been thinking about it, I think I'm going to bake a buttload ("How much is a buttload?" "$1,000.") of home-baked cookies and other treats and make him a little gift basket. Hopefully that'll work out well. :) Then it won't look like I've been slacking off around the holidays (well, which I have been, but I think everyone tends to wing-it for a lot of things around the holidays) since the cookies are perishable and such. So, yes. :) It'll just look like I was waiting until closer to the holiday to give them to him, haha.

I am off both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, but I'll be here in D-town for Christmas, since Andrew's gotta work. Hopefully he'll have another major holiday off of work sometime, so that I can drag him to a Weise family outing sometime and scare him with the other quirky fam members. ;) No really, I love 'em all. He got to meet a few the weekend after Thanksgiving, so he did get a peek into the Weises in Q-town. That was fun.

I also have New Year's Eve and New Year's day off of work as well, and I took the rest of that week off. So! I am planning an extended trip to Quincy from Sat., Dec. 29 through Jan. 3 or so. (I was cool and set up a dentist appointment for Friday, Jan. 4, so I'll need to leave that morning for the dentist... but that's OK.) :) Still a long visit that's long overdue, as per usual. I need to visit more... another new year's resolution, haha.

Otherwise, things are looking good here! I got my grades back for the semester and am extremely happy for the two As I got, woot. :) The one class was eh, the other was good, so I guess they make up for each other. Next semester I'm taking Instructional Methods for Special Ed as well as Middle School Methods, so that'll be fun. One's totally online, and the other I might have to be going to once a week in Springfield... but I knew that going into it and was just spoiled by having two online courses this past semester. :) I am happy to be back in school again, but it is a bit hectic working full time as well. ;) I am really spoiled to have such a nice boss and work environment to allow me to do that.

I'm trying to get my parents to visit soon to meet Andrew's mom and dad... I figure it's about time, since we've been dating so long. I was trying to get them to come to town Friday night and then leave Saturday morning, but haven't heard back about that yet... I'll give mama a call later when it's not the butt-crack of dawn to ask again. (My lovely cat woke me up at about 6am... damn kitty!)

In other news... Ed's girlfriend broke up with him... on MySpace! I was like, you little hussie! :P So Joanna, you can have Ed back, as he's a free man again. Poor guy, he was a bit broken up by it, but I think he's now in that angry phase and has deleted all her photos and such. (He called the day after it happened and we were on the phone for over an hour... poor guy!) I am eager to spend time with Ed and brother Tom (as opposed to boss Tom) when I come home in a couple of weeks too.

Last night was our Christmas with Andrew's older sister, Stefanie, and his nephew, Sawyer. Well, it was just supposed to be Stefanie and Sawyer, 'til Andrew's dad and Debbie (I refer to her as "stepmom" because it's easier, but she's really not - they got married when Andrew was 25 or so) invited themselves along. Then invited us to their house to serve us LEFTOVER spaghetti and biscuits and gravy. Nasty, first of all, and totally out of sync with our original plan to go out to eat as a lil' group. (This was not the first time Debbie's served us leftovers after inviting Andrew's dad's side of the family over. In fact, I'm not certain that we've ever NOT had leftovers when we've gone over there.) Anyway, I found it to be extremely rude, and then, when we got to opening gifts, Debbie went off into a corner and started doing her own Christmas cards. I was like... number 1, you invite yourselves to our get-together (the reason they were not really invited in the first place was because I was planning on my fam coming to visit next weekend sometime, and then we'd do our Christmas thing then... minimize seeing Stan and Debbie as much as possible! I'm horrible, I know!); number 2, change all the plans to fit your cheap-ass needs and then serve us LEFTOVERS because you're too damn lazy/careless to do otherwise; and, number 3, fail to entertain after you go out of your way to invite Stan's son, daughter, and grandson over. (Haha, can you tell we don't care to see them too often?) :) I guess that's horrible, but that really upset me a bit last night. So, we left their house early and had Stefanie and Sawyer come back to our place for a bit last night and hang. That was better, haha.

I'm tempted to serve them leftovers when my parents come to visit, then serve my parents up the real food I'd prepared that night. ;) Haha. (I've grown a bit sinister in my old age.)

Ah well, what can you do? :) I'm tempted to make a grocery list for the cookie basket I plan to make and go now, when it might not be too busy out n' about. (Since I'm up early and all, haha.) Yeah, I'll be crashing around noon... that's OK though, this is my four-day weekend, long overdue!

I'm going to do some major cleaning as well - Andrew got me a nice pots n' pans set for Christmas, so I'll go through our older stuff and clear out what we don't need. If anyone's in need of some pots n' pans, just let me know. :) (I know that sounds like a silly gift, but I've been wanting some for a long time, haha. Plus he says the "girly" gifts will be for my birfday... whatever that means.)

Yep! God, I write novels when I don't update for a long time. I guess that's alright.

Oh! And another interesting tidbit. :) (Once I start writing, I can't stop!) I had my yearly woman visit a couple of weeks ago, and all turned out well, so that's good. I'm liking my current birth control (Nuva Ring) but it makes me break out! And I've gotten some pimples in some really odd places lately... like inside of my ear and on the back of my head. Gross, I know, but I felt the need to share that... not sure if anyone else has ever had zits in their ear or the back of their head.

OK, I think I'm really done now. So! I'll do some phone-calling today, as it's been a while since I've done any of that as well. I love and miss you all... and will hopefully see some of you in a couple of weeks! I can't wait!

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Date:2007-10-26 06:58
Subject:school and teef and stuff.
Security:Public
Mood: a chipper Chester Weise

I've been promising myself to update this thing for a few days now... and I figured now's the best time to do it. :) It still saddens me that I'm up before work and it's still dark outside. Sad.

Things have been going pretty well here. School is going fine, though now I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed with working full-time and going to school and taking care of the house and so on and so on. I received a call from my mama a couple of weeks ago about my grades (though she does have access to them, I'm sure that she's not supposed to be snooping into those... which made me a bit perturbed, as I'm the adult and I'm the one paying for my own education...) and she said that she was looking at my transcript and that I had an IP (in progress) for the one course and an F in the other. Whaaat? Well, since it was only halfway through the semester, I figured it was just some sort of mix-up with the transcript grades. So, I emailed that professor and my advisor about it... at which time they told me that course only lasted 8 weeks. What the hell?

Though my advisor hasn't said so, that professor is wanting to give me an incomplete and give me until the end of the semester to finish that course, which is what I originally had planned on (Why would I be enrolled in two classes, then have one last only half the semester when the other is the entire semester?! It's silly to do the work of one class in half the time - that's twice the work.). So, that's scary... I've never failed a course in my life. And I know I can't have a grade like that in grad school and still hope for the degree. Shit.

So, I've been working my tail off, and will be going to the library again tonight after work until Andrew gets off work, about 7-11pm tonight. Yes, my Friday night will be spent at the library... don't be jealous. :)

Anyway... after being so bogged down with work this entire semester and feeling a bit overwhelmed, I was hoping to just take one class next semester, as I'd still finish the degree in a fair amount of time. Weeell... that's when my mom informed me that unless I want to start paying for the schooling outright and have my loans go back into repayment, I have to take at least 6 credit hours a semester. Shit. So, I'm stuck... I can't afford it outright, so I have to take two a semester and be scrambling. I hate that feeling.

*sighs* Unless I can set up my schedule to where I take one first quarter, and then another second quarter (since they have fucked-up 8 week courses... which I *never* had at Millikin), I think I might have to abandon this idea of going to school again. So that kinda sucks. I'm missing my alone-and-doing-nothing time. (Sad, I know.)

Anyway. That's my school situation. I'll just see how my grades turn out this semester... if the one doesn't raise from the F, then there's no way I can continue anyway. I would love to just have a sit-down with my advisor about everything, but unfortunately, she's in Quincy and I'm in Decatur. And now I just feel like a fool for not knowing that the one class only lasted 8 weeks (even though none of my enrollment forms or syllabus said it was 8 weeks - there was a calendar on the syllabus that ended early, but I thought nothing of it, since many of my former professors would do that and then modify it based on how the course was progressing).

I'm done ranting though. :) I'm really fine with it, and am fairly caught up on all my work... I will be better after going to the library tonight, however.

Everything else has been going well. Work is slowing down a bit, and I caught word that I should be getting a healthy raise before the end of the year, which will help out tremendously. :) Though my car is paid off, I've ventured into getting my teeth looked at by a dentist, and apparently, I need a lot of work done. A *lot*. To the tune of $9,000+. Yikes.

I originally went in because my teeth had shifted a lot after braces, and I was looking into Invisalign to get 'em fixed. Well, when Dr. Osborne (my dentist) took a look, he determined that my three baby teeth were the culprits for my teeth moving so much and my "bite collapsing," as he put it. So, if I just do the straightening and not address those teeth, I'll be in a vicious cycle of my teeth shifting every time I'm done with orthodontia. Fun. :) So, the tentative plan is to first get fitted with a "night guard" this coming Monday, which he says will help my bite close to where it will be once the Invisalign is complete (because apparently I don't have a "wide range of motion" with my mouth, as I'm biting funny now and they've always commented on how I can't open my mouth far or how I don't have much room in there [insert sexual innuendo here]). The night guard is basically a piece of plastic that will fit over my bottom row of teeth that my upper row will rest on at night (I don't think I'm to be wearing it indefinitely, not sure though). He said he's going to throw the cost of that in with the Invisalign, and I was like "thanks." :)

Next, he'll remove the three baby teeth before I start the Invisalign treatment. After that's through and I've worn retainers for a while come the dental implants. Oh yes. Three titanium teeth to be fitted where the old baby teeth were. That'll be a fun, screw-teeth-into-bone party. >.< But... it'll keep my teeth from moving around again once that round of orthodontia is complete. I wish they had pushed for these more the first time around when I had braces - they were mentioned, but never as a necessity for keeping my teeth and mouth healthy. Ah well, 20/20 hindsight.

But anyway, that's what's going on here. I'd best hop in the shower for work... it's getting chillier here and not as much fun going to work with wet hair. ;) (I love that I can go to work with wet hair and wearing jeans and a t-shirt if I'd like, haha.)

Anyway, I love and miss you all. Andrew and I will be making the trek to Q-town for sure Thanksgiving weekend... hopefully I'll be home for another weekend before then.

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Date:2007-09-25 06:47
Subject:it's been so long!
Security:Public
Mood: a peaceful Chester Weise

Yep, I took a hiatus... school has kept me pretty busy this semester. :) (Well, the one class has - one "meets" Monday evenings at 5:30 for a chat-class, and the other is just email correspondence back and forth to the professor.) I'm having a rough time getting myself to do work for the class that's just email-based... that's going to change tonight, however. I have a goal: all chapter synopses for the book Teacher Man will be completed by this weekend. It will happen. It needs to happen. :)

Anyway. This past weekend Ann and I traveled to Moline for Jessica's wedding, and it was purdy. :) The ceremony itself was shorter, but still nice - they let everyone go by hugging them as they went out the aisles, which was cute (and an excellent way to make sure you see everyone!). The reception was fun too, both the chapel and the reception hall were in the downtown area, so they had a historic feel to 'em... the reception hall was like a loft, very cool. (I'd like a house like that, haha - well, maybe not a loft, but one with hardwood floors and a huge fireplace would be nice.)

Ann and I had some drinks at the reception (open beer and wine... for a limited time only!) and then we meandered back to the Radisson to get some sleep. That was an awesome hotel room, haha. It had a king-size sleep number bed, a couch, two TVs, a minifridge and microwave, etc. Fancy. :)

Sunday we made the trek back to D-town/Cerro Gordo (it was about a 3 hour drive - a bit, but not out of reach) and then I did a marathon of homework for Meta Technology/Curriculum. Theeen... when I woke up for work on Monday, I felt like crap. (I must be getting old - it was probably doing way too much in too little of time, haha.) So I stayed home and rested up, which was really good... good thing I had the time saved up at work (but that is a different story altogether).

So, now I'm up for work this morning, and I'm feeling better - a bit sleepy still, but better. I also posted pics of the reception online, which turned out nice. (Though I've lost some weight, it's obvious to me I still need to lose more... my goal is 25-30 more pounds by the end of the year. So far that's not going so well... I lost the initial 20 lbs, and have been stuck there for a good 7 months or so. At least I'm not gaining any more, I guess.)

But anyway. I have to get ready for work... I love and miss you all. :) I'll probably make another trek to Q-town soon.

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Date:2007-08-31 07:09
Subject:another update!
Security:Public
Mood: it's Friday!

Both classes are effin' online. How sweet is that? :) No driving to Springfield... at least not this semester, haha.

I'm off to eat cereal now... Joanna, have a wonderful birthday! You can always wish my dad a happy b-day as well, then you'd get to see your Edward.

I love and miss you all.

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Date:2007-08-29 21:36
Subject:skool.
Security:Public
Mood: an overjoyed Chester Weise

Yup, I just bought half my books for this semester... and they totaled less than $30! I'm so excited.

One class will be done via email/online, the other I'm not sure about, but it seems they will be meeting once a week in Springfield. So woot!

I'm off to bed now to dream of being successful, haha. ;)

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Date:2007-08-29 06:13
Subject:I'll be important someday... today, even!
Security:Public
Mood: groggy

I got into QU's grad program. :) YAY!! Classes actually started last week, but I'm within the add/drop period at the first of the semester, so I'm cool to start classes as soon as possible. This is exciting! (And much better than getting in now and waiting until January to start classes, haha.)

Well, I called my future advisor, Dr. Crowe (eee as opposed to Ms. Crowe @ Millikin, haha), her assistant and I set up a conference call for today at 11am. I feel so important... saying "Yep, I have a conference call." ;) Anyway, I'm speaking to her later on this morning, then registering for classes this semester... hopefully she can also let me know which books I'm needed so that I can obtain those as well.

ANYway... I really should start exercising in the mornings again. I'm off to walk around the area a few laps now.

I love and miss you all.

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Date:2007-08-19 21:58
Subject:I, Mudd. (a.k.a. "this could be the best day of my life")
Security:Public

Tomorrow starts another week at work... only this one is a three-day week, since I am planning to come to Quincy on Thursday and stay until Sunday. For sure. :) I hope to see everyone soon.

Decatur kinda stresses me out a bit. The people are odd for the most part. Haha... I went to Sears' auto area on Saturday to get my tire noise checked out and fixed, and I had odd relations with two of the staff. There was the initial old man who took down my information all while staring *directly* at my chest the entire time. (This was the same one from when I bought all new tires last year.) I kept looking right in the dude's eyes and would catch him looking down then looking up when he saw me looking at him. Nasty! Aaaand then there was the odd cashier... who, upon entering my phone number in their records, commented on my address on Marietta Street and, later, after I'd paid my bill for repairs, told me about their family and friends night the following evening (and how he could get me 10% off any car repairs) and how, when I was leaving, he said "See you soon!" Gah! :) It's almost laughable... well, Andrew thought it was funny anyway, haha.

Well, on about Decatur... I know I don't want to live here for long. School was OK, since it was more interaction with students rather than D-town residents. Not that it's only the odd folks... though I love Andrew to death, and love living with him, I hate being away from my friends.

I have asked Andrew about living in Quincy in the future, and he does seem willing, despite the total of his family living in the Decatur area. That plan is surely in the cards for sometime in the future... however, at this point in time, we both have well-paying jobs and have debts to pay, so D-town is about the best situation at this time for the two of us. (On another note, I have just totally paid off my car, and am quite proud of that!)

Once I hear about my application to QU's M.S. Ed program, I'm hoping to take those classes (two a semester) while working full-time at HomeSight. I am so very excited at teaching someday... the more I work and deal with snotty, childish realtors, the more I want to work with people in a field that makes more of a difference than appeasing the wants of a poorly educated species. (Haha, I have developed such hatred for realtors in general working at HomeSight... not all, but many.)

I don't really know what this whole post is about... but I do know that I don't want to remain in Decatur forever, and that I miss my friends totally and love Andrew totally. Jeez. :)

I'm off to watch more TV before bed time. I can't wait to be home on Thursday. (After my two appointments... one for a haircut, and one to get mah teef looked at.)

I love and miss you all.

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Date:2007-08-09 06:52
Subject:stuff to report. ;)
Security:Public
Mood: breakfast tiiime!

I really should update more often, especially when I actually have things to report. :) Ah well, anyway.

The last time I was in Quincy, I had mentioned to mom how I had originally planned to go to grad school right after Millikin, but was a bit too fried after senior year to attempt that, hence why I'm now employed full-time. But, I brought up graduate programs again, and she mentioned that QU had a Master of Science in Education degree. Hmm. I was *really* excited at first, because I thought that would mean a tuition-free master's degree (haha that rhymed), until she said that only undergraduate stuffs counted like that. So, I kind of abandoned it again, but mom kept telling me to check out QU's website for more info.

So, I did, then found out that the Master's Ed degree had many classes offered at a Springfield campus of QU. (Ah!) Since my main concern was being able to find work full-time and go to school if I was going to have to pay it all myself, this was a nice option. I did a little more digging, and found out that all classes are either online or in the evenings, 5:30pm or later, which would work with my current schedule at HomeSight. So. I applied to grad school. No word yet on whether my application was accepted or not, but I guess I'll find out in the next week or two. And I'm excited. :)

In other news... Decatur still sucks. :) Haha. I think this has been a week of extra sightings of crazies in D-town. I went to Kroger (ghetto! but close to home) on Tuesday and before I even got in the door, three black guys kept yelling at each other "Hey n----! Check that out! She thick! No no, turn around... she thick!" I'm just like... thanks. Then, I get inside, and there's a crazy lady that often cashiers when I'm in there, and she asked me if I was ready for school again yet. This was before I'd applied to grad school, so I was just like "well, I've been out of school for a year now..." It's funny, because she thinks Andrew's still college-aged too, because she'll usually mention something about school or that the cops are supposed to be out tonight and to stay out of trouble. *shrugs* I just wanted to go to Kroger and not be bothered, damnit! Haha.

Oh, and THEN, Wednesday night, when I parked to wait for Andrew to get off work for his lunch, some older guy came up and knocked on my car window... I cracked it open about an inch, and he proceeded to tell me about how he ran out of gas and needed to buy a gas can so he could fill his gas tank and get to the bank... yadda yadda yadda. I told him I don't carry cash on me. (Andrew actually got the *same* story from some kid several weeks ago, then saw the same guy a couple of weeks after that using the same story. So nope... no more charity, haha.) Decatur sucks.

But other than those things, life's good. I miss everyone terribly though.

Well. I have to get ready for work. I love and miss you all.

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Date:2007-07-09 21:33
Subject:high speed chase! (no, really!)
Security:Public
Mood: an intrigued Chester Weise

Something happened today that is definitely worth mentioning:

I came home for lunch today, and after eating my lovely Lean Cuisine and some veggies, I got ready to return to work while Andrew was getting ready to go enter work for the first time today. He opened the front door to check the mail, and I saw a random truck with a police car, lights flashing, right in front of our house. At first, I thought "hey, some dude got pulled over," but when I looked again, there were FIVE police cars surrounding the truck in front of our house. One even drove in our front lawn to park - the whole width of Marietta was surrounded, haha.

Then, the first cop on the scene (then the 5-6 others that got out of their cars) started surrounding the guy's truck with their guns drawn! And I am not talking pistols... the first cop had something that looked like a friggin' machine gun drawn at the truck's driver, while all the other cops had similar, BIG guns. They were all yelling at the guy to exit the vehicle. Eventually, they drug the old guy (I mean old guy... probably late 50s or early 60s) to the ground and cuffed him, then seated him in the police car parked in our front yard.

The cops stood around for a while longer, then some guy in a red Mustang came to the scene, then he started yelling at the guy in the car, something like "yeah, that's my truck!" at him. Grand theft auto!? I don't know. By the end of it all, the guy who was cuffed and the guy who was yelling at him both got into the 'stolen' truck together. Very confusing! Why they let the one guy go is beyond me, and how the other guy showed up at the scene confused me even more, and then why the hell they got into the truck together really did it for me. *shrugs*

Once the cop car blocking our driveway left, I hopped in my car and returned to work while two or three of the cop cars remained (including the one in our front yard). Andrew thought it would be clever to take photos of the front yard then, as nice advertisement for selling the house one day. ;) "Nice, quiet neighborhood..."

Crazy.

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Date:2007-07-07 20:21
Subject:dancin' the night away. :)
Security:Public
Mood: a contemplative Chester Weise

I really need to start updating more. Also, I need to start writing more... after 4 years of writing in college, I've taken a hiatus after school's end. It's time to strike that up again as well. :)

Anyway, things have been going well here lately. Work is going well, despite us being *really* busy and two people short as of late. We really need to get more people in there to process the tours, since Tom has dreams of adding several more markets by year's end, and we're kind-of overwhelmed as-is. :) It's nice having something to do always. Now, if only I could eliminate the whole talking to realtors part of the job...

I have officially gone past the year mark at work... so I've been working full-time for over a year. ;) Cool. I have 8 vacation days (not including sick days) to use up over the course of the next year, which is nice. I'd really like to plan a trip somewhere like Vegas or something, but I should probably pay off some of my debts first before going off on such a venture. Ah well. :)

Speaking of debts... I used my credit card to purchase a DDR SuperNova + dance pad today. :) Yesterday's mini-trip to Springfield also led me to buying three new bras as well as DDR Max 2. Sooo... I've been geeking it up this morning with the DDR. :) So fun. I love jumping around like an idiot, haha. It wasn't until after I'd danced from about 10am to 12:15 that I figured out that my legs were now like limp noodles. Fun. :) I'll do it again tomorrow.

Chester Weise was ill earlier this week - I came home from work Tuesday night to find him lethargic and a couple of spots of puke that he'd had. Poor guy. I called the vet on the Fourth and explained his symptoms - he seemed hungry but just wasn't keeping anything down - she said to watch him and definitely bring him in if I felt uncomfortable with his situation and/or that he seemed to be getting worse. Luckily, he started feeling better by Wed. evening - he even felt well enough to wake me up Thursday morning at 6ish. >.< Haha, must have been the kitty flu. Or hairballs. *shrugs*

The more I get to thinking about the future, the more I'm thinking that I want to live in Quincy again. (A total opposite from high school, eh?) :) I really miss my fam and friends dearly here... there aren't too many left around D-town after the end-run at Millikin, save Ann and her fam. (Her Fourth cookout was a bit awkward as well... I knew the majority of everyone there, but I felt kind-of like a leech... I don't hang out with them except for Ann's get-togethers... not that I really talk to anyone but her at those anyway. I don't know. I'm not plastered when I'm over there either... that's a bit different from college too. I don't know.)

Being home last weekend, I went to Grandma Weise's house Saturday morning, which was a tradition when I lived there (well, still a tradition, only I haven't been going since I've been living out of town for 5 years). It was nice to see grandma, my parents, Aunt Libby, and cousin Raina all there, even if it was just sitting around the kitchen table, listing to grandma ramble and hearing the random remarks from other fam members. ;) Quite entertaining. It was also nice to hang with Ed and Tom... I doubt that they'll ever make the trek to Decatur if mom and dad aren't making them, so the only chance I have to see them is when I'm in Quincy.

Same goes with my good friends... I can't remember the last time I've had friend visitors in Decatur. Not that I'm complaining, everyone's lives are busy and traveling is expensive, but still. And going to Quincy for two days at a time is not enough to spend real, quality time with the people I care most about.

It's a little disheartening sometimes to think about coming home - I never spend enough time with anyone, and when I do come home I feel more like a stranger to everyone than a friend. I know that's caused by living out of town for so long, but it still sucks. It's just... odd to have the type of "catching up" conversations with people I still consider my best friends, even though it's what's to be expected, living so far apart and not speaking very often.

Yes, there's Andrew in Decatur, which is my main reason for staying, but he is not against moving someday... haha, in fact, he said something to me once about retiring in Quincy. Funny. And there is HomeSight - I really do like my job a lot there and want to continue working there for a long while. I really do think the best thing for us is to live cheaply, put in our respective times at work, and pay down our respective debts (yay for student loans, yay). I have no desire to move anytime soon, but I do know that Decatur is NOT where I want to live forever. No.

Haha, if my whole life - boyfriend, job, everything - was based in Quincy, it'd be lovely. :) Ah well.

Andrew's work is hiring a few more clients at Star Tek, which means more employees, which should mean more time off... at least more weekends off together, which would be nice. Even if we don't have matching shifts during the week, having a lot of weekends off would make up for it too.

Haha, I sound kind of pathetic today. ;) Ah well, what can you do? (Damn you, preemptive Aunt Flo, damn you!)

Well, I think I'm off to watch more TV... killing two hours before boy is off at 11. I love and miss you all.

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Date:2007-06-07 21:39
Subject:we're living in a den of thieves, and it's contagious.
Security:Public
Mood: a tired Chester Weise

For some reason I'm always wired on Thursday nights. Sooo, I'm up at 9:45... a little past my bedtime, haha. ;) So sad.

Anyway, work's been going much better lately than it was a while back. My responsibilities have been scaled back, and I'm now getting there on time and leaving on time (as opposed to getting there early and staying late, haha). I really do love looking at pretty houses online... just not when it causes me to be all stressed out and nervous about things. There's no reason to be in that sort of state.

My parents came to town last weekend, and they actually stayed for more than 3 hours this trip! Haha. They got into town around 5:30-ish, then we grabbed some dinner. I took them to my workplace and showed them around, then took dad to Famous Liquor for a six pack, haha. (He's off parole now, incidentally - he can now go into bars again. It doesn't seem like it's been 2+ years since that whole ordeal.) Anyway, we came back home, then watched the History Channel while having a few beers. That was interesting. :) The next morning, of course, we hit up Cracker Barrel before they left town. Now I need to wash the spare bedding in the spare bedroom, haha. Anyway, it was nice seeing them... now if only I can convince Ed and Tom to make the trip again sometime - they only came last time because I graduated. Pfft.

Andrew switched Saturdays with a guy at work, so he'll have this Friday and Saturday off and next Sunday off, instead of working all this weekend and being off all next weekend. I kind of like that better - haha, it's so silly, but I get to see him both weekends instead of just one. Working different schedules definitely sucks... we don't see each other except for his hour lunch every evening and his days off. *shrugs* That's all I have to say about that. :)

I got my renewal notice for my license plates today... they still had my parents' address on there. Theeeen I read on the back of the envelope that it's Illinois law to let them know when you move. ;) Oops, haha. Well, I remedied that online, then paid that off for the coming year, so that's good. In doing that, I checked on my new credit card's balance... eek. No more using that for a while.

Good thing tomorrow's payday, but my check's already spent. ;) That sucks too. Of the $600 (roughly - just a tad more than that, but I round down, haha) I will be receiving tomorrow:
-$300 to Andrew for rent, power, cable, groceries, garbage bill, and whatever else (I do that twice a month - and I'm still getting off easy - rent alone is $600+ total a month...)
-$150 to Sallie Mae for student loans... damn you Sallie Mae... :)
-$50 (roughly) for gas - maybe a little less than this
-$100 credit card payment
And there it goes. Next paycheck shouldn't be as bad... I'm ahead on my car payments, which is a good feeling. I am paid up on those through September, then I have 4 more full payments and 1 payment to cover whatever's left over. So, that's good news. :) I'm very tempted to up my coverage on my car - right now it's just got liability on it, but with the way 90% of Decatur drivers drive, I feel as though I should protect myself, haha. ;) So, I guess I'll look into that.

Wow, I'm rambling about money. It's a lot different paying for everything. ;) I don't miss being at mom and dad's, though. (I miss Quincy, but not living at my parents' house.) Poor mom still tries to get Andrew and me to move in upstairs, haha.

Chester was in here a while ago cuddling... usually he follows me to bed at night and cuddles for a bit when it's just me and him at home. :) That's pretty cute.

I'm listing to some burned Regina Spektor CDs at the moment... well, not really CDs, I dubbed them to good ol' Gertrude the iPod, but y'know. ;) They play her music a lot on the Millikin station (one of the two radio stations I pick up in my car with the non-existant antenna, haha) and I'm liking her stuffs a bunch. She's quirky. :)

Hmm, that's about all for now. You should come visit me (yes, you!). I'm sure I'll be in Quincy again sometime soon. :)

I love and miss you all.

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Date:2007-05-22 21:23
Subject:'tis been a while. :)
Security:Public
Mood: a sleepy Chester Weise

Yep, it's been a while again... I'm just going to do a short update before heading off to bed, as I'm an old lady now. :)

Prom Gone Wrong was a riot... the pics from the event are scattered all over Facebook. It was nice seeing everyone in town again. (I was long overdue for a visit to Quincy. I've been so much less stressed since my trips the last two weekends.)

Anyway, prom was hilarious! It was such a lovely time and Anna and Morgan paid so much attention to the details, like the walkway for the barn and the music. :) It was one kick-A event. I ended up driving home at 1am-ish, then pulling over as I had the epiphany that I shouldn't be driving. Anywho, I ended up pulling over, sleeping for 3 hours, then returning home. That was the first night I'd drank in excess for... wow... I think January? Maybe? (I can't remember.) Didn't feel too well on Sunday. ;)

After another week at work, I returned home for Tom's graduation weekend. Friday night was spent hanging with the bros, and Saturday included our usual trips to Hannibal for a short time as well as the pawn shop... haha, we're so gay. After all of that, Andrew and I went to Lizzie's house for a get-together, which was fun too. (I haven't seen Lizzie in a looong time!) Seeing everyone together was very nice indeed... unfortunately, it doesn't happen as often as it prolly should.

Sunday was Tom's high school graduation... now my parents are the fine "owners" of three high school grads. Lucky them. ;) Naw really, it was alright. Mr. Moran asked me if I'd climbed out of any windows lately, and Mr. Heilmann said I looked good and it sounded like I was doing well for myself. :) That's always nice to hear.

After the graduation (which cousin Raina attended, as her boahfriend was in Tom's class as well), the fam went to The Abbey for some grub, at which time my car's engine started to steam (eee!). Haha, well, I ended up driving mom's station wagon back to D-town while I dropped my car off at Dan's. Sooo, I'll be rockin' the wagon for a little while, anyway. It sounded like a minor repair, something to do with an oil pressure switch(? I think?) - anyway, the total cost was $120, which was a great relief. :) I can't afford major car repairs, haha.

Work has been going really well since these mini-getaways - I know I get lonely for home and such while living here, and only visiting can relieve that feeling. I think I have enough visits to tide me over for a little while, anyway. :) So I'm happy.

My parents are planning on coming to D-town next weekend (not Memorial Day, but the following weekend) to return my car to me - hopefully they will stay for more than a few hours during this trip, as we finally painted and finished the spare bedroom. :) It looks really, really good in light green. Anyway, there's space for them (or anyone, for that matter! hint hint) to stay, so hopefully they'll take up our offer.

That's about all. Chester seems ready for sleeping as well (he's been on my lap the whole time I've been writing this - haha, he's so much like a dog: he follows me back to bed when I'm going to sleep for the night). So, I'm off to bed, and I love and miss you all. I had really lovely times seeing everyone these past two weekends... I only wish they lasted longer. :)

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Date:2007-05-05 10:40
Subject:oh, how things have changed...
Security:Public
Mood: better :)

Haha, well, it didn't take long for me to reach a breaking point at work. This past week, on Monday, Alicia called after I scheduled her for a full day, and said that she had other appointments that day starting at 1pm-after, thus making it impossible for her to be at her afternoon appointments. This is all fine and good, but in my hurry to try to process everything that didn't get done in the previous week, I forgot to call the homeowners that we had scheduled appointments with and ask them if we could reschedule for Tuesday. That was a big no-no.

I know this whole fiasco was my fault, however I feel like I caught the end of a raw deal before this whole thing happened. Last week, on Thursday, after that full day of work when I felt like bawling again, I wrote an email to Tom and Kara about the situation. Granted, I didn't come right out and say "I AM OVERWHELMED AND NEED HELP," but I thought it was conveyed in the email.

That email.Collapse )

Anyway, I sent that email last week, on Thursday, and NEITHER ONE BOTHERED TO REPLY. That's what pissed me off the most. Even a reply that said "At the present, we need you to keep doing what you're doing until we hire more people" would have worked... but I received nada. Nothing. That really, really pissed me off.

Every day at work since that email I'd been on pins and needles, upset that neither superior in the office bothered to care about my situation, and also consistantly overwhelmed with the amount of work I do and exactly how much was not getting done. (The last few paychecks that I've received, I've wanted to cry... I know all of it goes to debts, loans, and bills, and then I'm left to work my ass off until the next pay period, when the next check goes toward bills in its entirety.) It's just... really frustrating to hear other people in the office saying at the end of the day "oh yay! I got all my stuff done!" when I have at least one-two days' worth of work still to be done, only to catch up to ground zero before the whole thing starts over again.

I like having a lot to do at work, but that was fucking rediculous.

At any rate, this past Tuesday of last week (notice that it didn't take long for me to fully lose it at work), I was only in the office for about 5 minutes (I was the first one there, again) and I took a call from a crabby homeowner, one that I'd forgotten to call about Alicia not being able to go there on Monday. I apologized, saying it was my fault that I didn't call to reschedule, but that lady kept me on the phone for close to 10 minutes, bitching about every last thing we do. And I lost it. 8:15 in the morning, and I lost it.

At that point, I was already bawling at work - Tracey was the only other one in the office at present, and here I was going on and on like "I'm overwhelmed," "This is fucking rediculous," "I sent a fucking email to Tom and Kara, and neither one bothered to reply," everything. I went to the bathroom and tried to calm myself down.

Later on that morning, about 10am or so, I took another call from a crabby homeowner, then the real estate agents' assistants that those owners had called after calling me, so I got to listen to what I'd done wrong about 10 different times or so. I lost it again - just crying this time, there were other people in the office. Dawn K. told me to go take a walk outside. I did.

After 15-20 minutes, I still felt like crying, and Tom met me before I went upstairs and we talked outside. He went on about how he knew he had put a lot of faith and work on my shoulders, and that "[we] have been leaning on you a lot in the last few months, because you're the best processor," but that he now knew that I had too much on my plate. (Gee, you remember that email I sent last week?) Long story short, he wanted to convey to me that he didn't want me to think that there was anybody in the office who didn't appreciate me, because I do a good job. That helped, but... when he said to me that if I'd felt this way, to let him know... it didn't click right away to mention that email I sent last week, and now I regret saying so. (Ah well, what can you do now?)

So, as of right now, I am not doing Champaign anymore, and not primarily training Tracey. I did take over Bloomington, and am learning, but balancing that and Peoria at present is the right amount of work for me. Tom also gave me a raise... imagine that. (It's kind of a good thing he did... when I was walking around before coming back, I just kept telling myself that no job should make me feel as stressed out as this one was at present... I know I probably stressed myself out about it a lot more than I should have, but I'm only 23 years old, damnit. Nothing should be that stressful in my life.)

Anyway... the rest of the week was better. I was sick on Thursday, all achy and stuff, but Friday went well. I even stayed until 6ish, but I got all my stuff done. Everything. I hadn't felt like that in a long time.

And now it's the weekend. :) Yay.

I think part of my outburst at work can be attributed to my birth control. Since I started working out again last November or so, I've had to switch birth control from the patch to two different pills. (I really miss the patch, because I didn't have any adverse effects from it, but when they started falling off after I was working out daily, I thought that I could no longer rely on it like I was. Haha, either work out to manage my weight, or stay on the patch and be lazy. Hmm.)

Anyway, the first set of pills I took, Ortho-Novum, made my heart pound, and the doc told me that my blood pressure was elevated... that's never happened before. Those pills I was on for a few months, during which time I felt... angry. I would drop something on the floor, and scream at the top of my lungs when no one else was in the house... or I'd do something else that shouldn't matter to me, maybe take out the trash and have something fall out of the bag onto the floor, and the same thing would happen. I knew that stuff was trivial, but couldn't stop myself from being so angry.

Sooo, I stopped taking those early one month (and was really, really scared for a few weeks, until my period came again, haha) and then I decided to try one other brand of pills, Levlen. These are worse... thankfully, today is the last pill to take before week 4. These make me weepy and my heart pound. Haha, yeah... those homeowners and realtors have been really getting to me for a few months, and I *know* they shouldn't. I *know* some people are just crabby and think they're always right. But I couldn't stop myself.

That one day I came home bawling from the office, Andrew came home for his lunch hour, and saw me... then I dropped a plate on the floor and shattered it, and cried more... haha, then I got mad at myself for getting so bent out of shape over a damn plate, which made me cry more... Andrew was just like "I'll abstain! Just get off those pills!" I kind of agree with that assessment.

So. Next week, I'm going in to the PP on Wednesday to find something different... I'd spoken to the last doctor about my symptoms, and she seemed to think that any birth control pill I'd take would do the same, since all primarily use the same hormones to regulate that stuff. She suggested Depo (the shot), which I'm kind-of eyeing now - those shots last for three months, so if any adverse effects come with it, I'm stuck with that one until the meds run their course. Hmm.

I'm going to do some research online about that one... as well as the low-dose pills out there. I know some don't use the same hormones as every other kind out there. (They might be meant for skinnier people though, I'm unsure.)

Haha, I was talking to my mom about all this, and she offered to teach me natural family planning... I was like... no. Thanks anyway. :) My mom's funny.

Anyway, that's been my past week. Things are looking up, though I'm very happy it's the weekend.

Prom Gone Wrong is next weekend, and I'm excited. :) I think the following weekend I'm going to take Thursday and Friday off (I've got the time), so that I can just get out of the office for a little while. Tom's graduation is the Sunday the week after Prom Gone Wrong, so I'll be home for that, as well as Lizzie's graduation party the Saturday before. I'm ready.

Anyway! That's all. I love and miss you all. Thanks for the comments on my last message too, they meant a lot. :)

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Date:2007-04-25 17:51
Subject:stressed out.
Security:Public

Despite being on birth control (which can raise blood pressure), I think it's work that is the true culprit, and I'm unsure why. I think lately it's been feeling like a never-ending race to get things done as quickly as they can, but the past couple of weeks (especially the last three days) have felt like I'm in last place and the course keeps getting longer and longer with no end in sight.

Sounds pretty silly to me... anyway... I am in charge of two markets, Peoria and Champaign. Recently, Tom made the decision to give Tracey, the new lady at work, Champaign and then I would take over Bloomington from Dawn O., hence lightening my workload (Champaign is truly a one-person market, while Bloomington and Peoria together kinda make one market's worth). At any rate, that's fine with me... but I have to train Tracey. That's been consuming the bulk of my time, along with waiting for the ghetto-rigged laptop I'm using now (thanks to my computer crashing... again... and again...) to work its magic, since it's an older PowerBook laptop and slow.

I have orders that came in on Monday that still aren't done. Only one of Alicia's 10 or 11 that she did yesterday got done today. Plus I've got mounds of folders piling atop one another with folks asking for retakes, to recheck area sizes, etc. I was going to stay late tonight to catch up, but I felt at the brink of bawling in the office, and didn't want to make a scene when Tom and Patty (Tom's wife) came back after their short get-together. I bawled all the way home and am still doing so, because I am just fucking overwhelmed and not getting any of my shit done. I HATE feeling buried like this, especially when it seems there's no way to get out.

I helped Tracey schedule Alicia's appointments for tomorrow (she's doing another 11 or 12) and that alone made me late - my work out class was at 5:15, missed that again.

Anyway, I'm frustrated and needed to vent, and am still venting. I'm going to have a Smirnoff.

It's times like these that I miss college, because I was never this fucking stressed, even at exams time. I think I'm too wrapped up in my work reflecting me... in that case, right now I'm looking pretty damned sorry.

I love and miss you all,
-Joanne-

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